Jimbo-Dandy to the Rescue
Interview With A Woman Hater - Part I
Disclaimer: This work is pure fiction. Any similarity to actual individuals living, or dead, including woman haters are completely coincidental.
Language Warning: The word 'bitch' is used many times in this fictional interview. Keep in mind that the character's hatred for women is being exposed by both his demented actions, his attitude, and the words he uses to describe the females in his life.
Robert Crisp: Thank you for participating in this interview Mr. Dandy, and may I call you Jimbo?
Jimbo Dandy: Think nothing of it. I love talking about my bitches.
Robert Crisp: Ahem, why yes, I see that. But to the point Mr. Dandy, you are a self proclaimed woman hater. Isn't that right?
Jimbo Dandy: Why yes I am, and darn proud of it too fella. Every man should be!
Robert Crisp: I understand. Some have argued that you use passive aggression to hurt the women in your life. How would you answer that allegation?
Jimbo Dandy: There's nothing passive about it! I do the best I can to put the smack down on my bitches.
Robert Crisp: Can you give me an example of passive aggression you have used in the past?
Jimbo Dandy: I'd be proud to!
Robert Crisp: Then go right ahead, we're all waiting.
Jimbo Dandy: Well take the little scam I run on my ex-wife for example. I hate that bitch. And she thinks I love her, but I got that bitch royally screwed.
Robert Crisp: How so Mr. Dandy?
Jimbo Dandy: Well, you've heard the expression that revenge is best served up cold? Well that is exactly what I've been having some fun with for several years now.
Robert Crisp: With your ex-wife?
Jimbo Dandy: Oh yes indeed!
Robert Crisp: How so? What do you do to your ex-wife?
Jimbo Dandy: The one thing that hurts her the worst of all!
Robert Crisp: And what would that be?
Jimbo Dandy: I keep her locked up in her current marriage! Hee Ha!
Robert Crisp: How so?
Jimbo Dandy: For just a few thousand dollars a year I keep her in misery.
Robert Crisp: What do you mean?
Jimbo Dandy: Well she's married to this fella who has brought her to her knees. Killed her dreams, her spirit, her dignity - you know - he's my kind of guy.
Robert Crisp: And?
Jimbo Dandy: Well he's a loser when it comes to money. A regular Peter Pan.
Robert Crisp: So you're giving him money?
Jimbo Dandy: I give her money, and she just gushes all over me, like I'm her best friend.
Robert Crisp: But you actually hate her?
Jimbo Dandy: Can't stand her. Just don't like women, or little girls - all bitches to me.
Robert Crisp: So by giving her money you appear to be her savior, but in fact you're keeping her horrible miserable marriage going long after it would have ended otherwise?
Jimbo Dandy: Hey, some like sports, and this fun is costing me a couple grand a year!
Robert Crisp: Brilliant! Any other examples of your sick twisted mind?
Jimbo Dandy: I also craft carefully worded apologies and explanations for each and every horrible and irresponsible thing her current husband does. And when she stands up for herself I scream at her, and threaten to deny any more assistance. I deny her what little hope she has left, and she comes running back to Pappa - hee ha!
Robert Crisp: Fantastic!
Jimbo Dandy: Just wear the bitch out, me and her husband work together on this, and she gives up like a little girl - and I can't stand those bitches - take my daughter for example.
Robert Crisp: What?
Jimbo Dandy: Well my best buddy, her current husband, called my seven year old daughter a bitch. Hee Ha! Couldn't stop laughing on that one. So I had to craft up some carefully worded excuses for my buddy. I hate that little bitch! I'd do anything for my buddy though.
Robert Crisp: Have you no shame?
Jimbo Dandy: Hell no! Buddy, this is a man's world, and it says it right in the Bible. That's just another part of the plan. We got her believing she's a sinner if she even thinks about getting out of this trap. Hee Ha! What a stupid bitch. Man I hate women. Give me that old time religion, give me that old time religion - that's what I always say! Obey your husbands!
Robert Crisp: Oh yes, I guess you're right.
Jimbo Dandy: So now we got them right where we want them. Weak, Needy, and Pathetic. You should have seen what that bitch put me through - so as they say, pay back is a bitch - and this time, it's socking it to the bitch.
Robert Crisp: And this just cost a couple of thousand a year?
Jimbo Dandy: Best bargain around! Oh my God I think I wet my pants.
Robert Crisp: In our next interview we'll examine how men can use intimidation to stress out their children as a form of coercion against their bitches whenever they get the idea to leave them.
Disclaimer: The purely fictional character portrayed in this fictional interview, Jimbo Dandy, is not necessarily a latent homosexual. Simply having a man crush on his ex-wife's current husband doesn't indicate he is a homosexual. We must focus on what we do know, and that is that he hates women, and little girls, and that he has found his soul mate in his ex wife's current male partner.
